Crossroad

Tak ade sape yg boleh tolong kite kecuali diri sendiri..yes, i know that. Tapi masalahnye, susah sgt for me utk buat the right thing. I know what i should do, cume im not strong enough to do it je..im still weak. Kenape la when im totally ready to be in a serious relationship with someone, mesti kene mcm ni. Mcm kite ni x layak utk merase ape itu cinta. Tp biase la tu dlm kehidupan kan? ape yg kite nak susah btul nak dpt, tapi ape yg kite x nak bersepah-sepah dpn mate sampai rimas jadinye. Tina nak mintak maaf dkt semua org yg tina pernah lukakan perasaan diorang or rase mcm dipermainkan sbb mmg xde niat langsung tina nak buat mcm tu kat sesiape pun.

The story of my life..dari kecik sampai skrg, kalau dikumpulkan rasenye bley wat movie kot..haha i may look boring on the outside but im just trying to be tough and live life like everyone else. Life must go on kan? But when im with you its like im with my twin. You can read me like a book. From cover to cover. And all i have to do is gaze into your eyes. Even when im saying something, you know the true meanings of my word. Sometimes i feel like we dont have to talk to understand each other. Like we have our own way of communicating. Da lame i dont feel this close to someone. Is it too early to say that you're my soulmate? hmm..i've never considered anyone to be my soulmate, so thats a huge thing coming from me.

You keep saying that you love me so what are you waiting for? Those little things that you do that she hates, you know i adore them. It breaks my heart to see all that love that you've got is going to waste. She doesnt deserve someone as thoughtful, caring, sweet and romantic like you. Well, everyone deserves to be with a nice guy, but that doesnt mean she can treat you like that. Kalau betul one day die layan u dgn sepatutnye, i promise to stay away and try to forget u. But only if you two are happy and deeply in love with each other. Kalau everyday pun gaduh je, then whats the point staying in a broken relationship? Baru couple dah gaduh mcm org kahwin 20 tahun. Bayangkan la nanti bile da kahwin. Is it gonna get worse? Fikirlah u..im not saying this so that you'll choose me, tapi for u to think about your future. Is it worth it? If it is, then try to work it out with her. I da byk kali advice u kan bile u ade problem and gaduh dgn die. And everytime i x fikir pasal diri i pun. Kalau bley i nak save your relationship lagi eventhough dlm hati sedih that ur going through this when we could be so happy together. Tapi i sayang u. I nak u happy. Tapi i da penat tgk u asyik bersedih pasal die. U tau x i lagi sedih bile tgk u sedih?

Selamat tinggal sayang...

Sejak kebelakangan ni air mata asyik mengalir je. Emotional sangat saya ni.. Tapi thats how i feel. Daripada pendam lebih baik kita keluarkan. So today nangis lagi. Pasal apa? Ex nak kahwin dah tahun depan. Hmm..all i can say to him is good luck and i wish you all the best with her. Semoga bahagia bersama hingga ke anak cucu. At last, kahwin jugak kamu ye.. i know i wont get an invitation, tapi takpe la. i dont think i can stand to watch you marrying someone else. Tapi seikhlas hati ni, im happy for you.

Reading your last message reminds me of our memories together. The good and the bad memories. You're the first i had a serious relationship with. You taught me stuff that i would never learn with anyone else. You made me grew up. Made me anti poligamy..hahaha  We laughed, we cried, we shared almost everything back then. You were my bestfriend.

So you found your happy ending. Im happy as long as you're happy. And i know she's happy too. One advice to you if you're out there reading this, tolong la jaga hati dan perasaan dia. She doesnt need to know about the past. Lets keep it that way. And now that you're getting married, tolong la ubah perangai and jaga diri. Jangan nak menggatal dengan perempuan lain ye? Jadilah seorang suami yang setia. Because other than that, i know you're a very nice guy. Kalau tak, i wouldnt fall in love with you dulu kan?

Entah bila i can see you again. Tak nak jumpa pun tak ape la. I understand. Tapi mane la tahu kan if terjumpa kat mana-mana lepas ni, tegur-tegur la. Saya ni rabun sikit tak perasan orang. Orang jalan sebelah pun tak perasan, bukannya sombong.

Awak...saya nak awak tahu yang saya sentiasa sayangkan awak. Harap-harap satu hari nanti saya akan jumpa someone yang betul-betul sayangkan saya macam mane saya sayangkan awak dulu..

MALAS!!

So i just started this blog thingy..still getting the hang of it. Kalau saya rajin i will update it but obviously i am always lazy..malas nak tu, malas nak ni..even the simplest, easiest thing pun i will say malas..(note: malas is my fav word ntah sejak kurun ke berapa...hehe)

So hopefully when the "malasness" is gone, i'll try and do something with it.

Friendship

What is friendship? Is it something you can dispose of when you're done with it? Or something that you keep even when it only brings you nothing but misery? Or even something that can be bought? Whatever it is, i've experienced a tough time a few years back and thats when you can see who your real friends are. And to my surprise, its the least expected person..

Friends are easy to find but best friends, they're like gold. Once you've found them, keep hold of 'em and never let go. I'd rather have 5 best friends than a thousand of fake friends. Who needs those anyway? Kawan mase senang tapi bila kita susah, bayang pun tak nampak.

Thank you God for blessing me with wonderful friends. I am who i am now because of them. And i can be different with different people. So if you wanna see the real me, you should see me with my bestfriends because that's the real me.

And one thing for sure, once i considered you as my friend, you'll always be my friend no matter what. That can be my weakness sometimes. Saya tak berkira dalam persahabatan, tapi i expect to be treated the same way that i treat others.And dont take your friends for granted (or your lover for that matter..another thing i've learned)
Be my friend, get close to me and you'll understand who i am. You may not understand the things i do but thats ok. Because most of the time i dont understand it either. I dont know why i do the things i do. I just do it. I may be wrong and did some mistakes but i'm only human. So dont judge me before you even try to know me. But be warned, you may fall in love with me..hahahaha dont say i didnt warn ya! :p